Exposing your genitalia to your friends? not gay!

everyone knows that the only thing funnier than a big hairy ball sack is a big hairy ball sack with a penis. big jim and the twins are some ugly sons-a-bitches, which is only one of the many reasons why it is so funny to make people look at them. is your friend down about the death of his fiance? give him a good tea-bagging and watch the pain melt away through laughter. bored on a long trip? smash them twig and berries against the window and watch the children in other cars scream in horror. ever hang your rod out around a nun? that ride isn't for people with heart conditions. of course the victims of your hilarious and witty jokes are completely gay for looking at dicks. why would anyone look at a dingaling if they didn't want to put it in their mouth? hahaha, fags. i've even bought special wants so i can whip it out instantly in the most surprising place: banks, the laundry mat, fancy restaurants, the library, the coffee shop, class, the DMV, the supermarket, abrecrombie and fitch, sci-fi conventions, drag races, college football games, the opera, the zoo, the botanical gardens, the dollar store, the museum of art, and express oil change. granted the pants weren't necessary at many of these places as i've been able to have sex there. my penis has seen more of birmingham than most of the residents here and has frightened about half of them. let it out fella's, give'em some air! hell, if you can do the helicopter you might even impress a pretty girl.

NOTE: this picture is a fountain in prague, czech republic and is an ode to the czech's freedom to pee anywhere. as they piss in the pool in the shape of the czech republic their hips swivel back and forth and their tallywackers flop up and down. it's awesome. i don't have a picture of the horrified face of someone who has just spotted an unexpected rock hard baby arm staring them down.